God gives CLEAR and CONCISE instruction in His Word about how we are suppose to handle the delicate matter of sex. For those of us who are not married, male and female alike, we are told to "Run from sexual immorality! Every sin a person commits is outside the body" (1 Corinthians 6:18, HCSB). We are not suppose to run to sexual immorality, but AWAY from it. If we don't steer clear of immorality it is more than our virginity we will be losing. The decision to have premarital sex pollutes our mind, body, and our soul. Allow me to elaborate.
As many of us became teenagers we probably only heard this statement "don't have sex before marriage", from parents, church leaders, older friends, etc. This was the very phrase that I was told. However, no one told me why or how to wait to have sex before marriage. No one told me how it would cloud my judgement and how it would destroy my relationship, which it did. I didn't realize that with each guy I gave myself to I left a little piece of myself behind and took a piece of them with me. I knew the bible verse that stated "and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh" (Mark 10:8, NKJV). I, in my lack of knowledge, thought that this verse was simply talking about when one marries another. Later, I soon found out that I had this ALL wrong. You may not have realized or realize it, but once you have sex with someone you give them the means to which they can sort of control you and your emotions because "for by whom a person is overcome, by him/she is also brought into bondage"(2 Peter 2: 19, NKJV). When you have sex you link your soul to that person's, so then there is no room for God to be in the mix if you are not married to them. The emotional toll of sex is so expensive, especially for women because we are emotional beings. Simply put, "you cannot make love to a man and remain unemotionally unattached no matter how hard you try" ("Lady in Waiting", Jackie Kendall). You will stay in a relationship where you are being mistreated or abused longer than you have to. Take time to think about a friend that you have who has stayed with a guy who you and she both knows didn't deserve her, but she just couldn't let go. Soul-tying is the answer for that. I was once that girl. This one guy treated me so bad, but I "thought" I couldn't let him go because I "loved" him (pssh. that was pure lust sent from satan himself). He was like a drug I just kept polluting my body with. Believe me, I had tried in my own strength to end it, I could not. (*praise break* Thank God, He reached into the depths of my soul and freed me from that bondage!!) Sex will have you going further than you want to and staying longer than you should. Sex outside the confines of marriage is dangerous. STDs and unplanned pregnancies are a serious matter. There are diseases like AIDS/HIV and Herpes that you cannot get rid of and are then faced with the embarrassment of having to tell your someday spouse about it. Keep in mind something is lost when physical passion begins.
Make no excuses for sexual immorality. If you are practicing it I strongly urged you to STOP. It is NOT God's will for you and that person. For the bible says "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like heathen, who do not know God". Not only are you sinning against your own body you are separating yourself from God. I don't know about you but that alone was reason enough to repent and run away from that sin. Here's another thought that entered my mind that turned me away from the fornication I was in, "think about the person(s) you are having or had sex with and the person(s) they have had or are having sex with and the person(s) they all had sex with, you are one flesh with ALL those people. (take that all in for a minute, its a bit much isn't it?) See how emotions come into play. You can lay with a person feeling one way before you have sex, but get up feeling completely different afterward simply because now you have took on their emotions too. You see, sex is bigger than just you and that person that is why it is purposed within the confines of marriage ONLY.
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........... A woman's purity is a lifelong guard of the heart. Walking in purity is guarding the key to your heart, giving that key to God, and focus more on growing in friendship with someone not growing romantically with them. I say that to say this the way you think and behave must be pure too. Simply because you no longer engage in sexual activity does not make you pure. What are you allowing to enter through your eyes and ears? How are you dressing, modest or immodest? How are you interacting in your friendships with the opposite sex? All of this matters. You have to guard your purity and the purity of others with all that you have. If you long to be ONE with anyone be ONE with God. He is the only one that can totally fill that need to be loved and He is the ONLY one that will make you whole. If you are virgin and reading this, my dear sister, I take my hat off to you. You have something that many of us wish we could get back. Hold on tight to your innocence and don't be persuaded by "sweet talk" to give up the gift God meant only for your someday spouse (if He wishes for you to marry) to unwrap and for the Lord's glory. I'll tell you flat out you are NOT missing out on anything by refraining from sex. If the person you're dating cannot wait because they "love" you or they say "we are going to get married anyways" please don't hesitate in showing them the door! For the ladies, who are like me, God made you a virgin again, hold on tight to your new found purity. God honors your decision and you honor him with it. He smiles upon that. I'm sure your someday spouse (if its God's will) will love you even more for it. Set clear standards ahead of time if you are or will court and don't make the mistake of going too far. A man of God "will not pressure a woman verbally, but will cherish her with his declaration of love and take her home before they have to regret any violation of their purity ".
There are huge prices to pay for sex outside of marriage and once the seal is broken physically it is forever gone, but God can reseal you as new spiritually and emotionally. Don't give in to the temptation it is not from God nor is it His will for your life. I hope I cleared up some things for someone today. I wish I had someone to tell me about the damage of awakening love too soon. Ask God to "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me". (Psalms 51:10, NIV).
from my heart to yours. Blessings xo. -Q
(P.S. I recommend the book "The New Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's best while waiting for Mr. Right." by Jackie Kendall) you won't regret it (:
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